Moments of sudden clarity
Are not always shining
In happy memory
Sometimes I'm doing something
So submerged in feeling
And in casual reactions
Building momentum that
When the moment comes
I'm suddenly thrown
Outside myself,
A shock of cold, heavy numbness
Quickly broken by the hot flash of shame
Suffusing the skin
And gathering in palpable clouds
Crushing in while
Stripping and exposing me.
I'm thankful for these moments that teach
Humility, perspective,
What others might think and feel and see
And I reshape myself
But at the same time they haunt me
More than I'd like
Coming in with sickness
And hammering at my thoughts
Even in a far future moment of peace
Unrelated, except for that it holds
A knot in my personal timeline
Sometimes I see someone so caught
Up in their way of thinking
And I realize that the biggest problem
Is that they can't see outside themselves
Some have these moments like me, I think
Others grow more steadily (and I have had my share of this, too)
Through other ways of influence and learning
Perhaps their raw materials more shining than my own
But some refuse the othersight
Push back for pride or righteousness
Can it be, though, that some have never left themselves
Attempted other-vision
Trapped, to never understand the outside
Or even themselves as fully as they might?
A game or the serious movement
Of the ever-growing Present
Building and tearing
Circling and darting around
Proprioception
And the mind that ties itself to you.
